A Healthy Marriage | I Choose You

The most difficult and most significant thing you will ever learn is how to have healthy relationships.

Marriage is the truest test of that statement. Two people meet, fall in love, have a wedding, and start building a life together. Why do some marriages thrive while others fail? As a Christ-follower you might be tempted to answer ‘faith’, but the divorce rate among religious people is virtually identical to the rest of the world. As a romantic you might be tempted to say ‘love’, but I’ve met people who tell me they love one another, they just can’t live with one another. So what it is it? How can two, clearly flawed individuals come together and stay together?

The answer isn’t complicated, but it is hard. You understand the difference, right? Losing weight isn’t complicated. Eat fewer calories than you burn and you’ll lose weight. Not complicated, but definitely hard. Like staying out of debt. Spend less than you make and you’ll be debt free. Not complicated, but clearly hard. The key to a healthy marriage is the same. It’s about choice.

In healthy marriages both the husband and wife have made a clear choice. Spoken or unspoken they’ve looked at one another and said:

  • I choose you – above all others.
  • I choose you – above myself.
  • I choose you – above my children.
  • I choose you – above my career.
  • I choose you – regardless of income.
  • I choose you – in spite of your weirdness.
  • I choose you – in spite of my quirkiness.
  • I choose you – so I will forgive when you’re wrong.
  • I choose you – so I will repent when I’m wrong.
  • I choose you – so I will give you the benefit of the doubt.
  • I choose you – even when I think you’re stupid.
  • I choose you – even when you treat me like I’m stupid.
  • I choose you – when we’re in debt.
  • I choose you – when we have more than we ever dreamed possible.
  • I choose you – when you succeed.
  • I choose you – when you fail.
  • I choose you – when you’re nice.
  • I choose you – when you’re not so nice.
  • I choose you – when you’re beautiful.
  • I choose you – when you’re messy.
  • I choose  you – when you’re healthy.
  • I choose you – when you’re hurting.
  • I choose you – when we agree.
  • I choose you – when we disagree.
  • I choose you – when all’s right with the world.
  • I choose you – when everything falls apart.
  • I choose you – when life is busy and we don’t get to see each other.
  • I choose you – in those quiet moments that it’s just the two of us.
  • I choose you – your dreams, desires, & hopes.
  • I choose you – your hurts, habits & hang ups.
  • I choose you – your family, yes, even your mother.
  • I choose you – above my own rights or opinions. This is mutual submission out of mutual respect.
  • In light of every other possibility  – I choose you.

If you’re married, it’s because you and your spouse made a choice. If you’re not, it’s because you or your spouse made a choice.

Your marriage can improve. Let your spouse know. I choose you.

Colossians 3:18-19, “Wives, submit to your husbands…Husbands, love your wives.”

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